Living on the fault line…

        By Hannah L. Halverson

When circumstances in life are beyond our control, pressure below the surface builds.  An earthquake happens.  Everything is shaken up. But this….this is a different kind of earthquake.   It is one within the soul. It’s a shifting of things that are buried deep. Feelings, intense emotions, confusing thoughts, and relentless guilt. The pressure of these intense emotions can build over time. Especially if you refuse to face them. The tension has to go somewhere. Everything shakes and quakes. Life shifts, things change and the pressure is released through thoughts, behaviors and actions. Suddenly you realize in all of your efforts to hold it together….this time, things are falling apart.

After things settle, the blame sets in. Thoughts of guilt and insecurity rock your world.  You start to doubt everything that has happened.

“If I would’ve done this, or that…or said this or that…or knew this or that…things could’ve been different…”

As fast as the earthquake happened….You rebuild your house in the same place it crumbled before.

On the fault line.

You blame yourself.

This is an attempt to make the emotions of the chaos disappear. Chaos caused by others. Emotional earthquakes are confusing. When the shifting and shaking begins, there is a search for control. Sometimes the only control to be had is to find who is at fault. If you can take the blame for what happened or for their behavior…then one day you will figure out how to change it. Because if you can change their behavior, then maybe their anger will stop…or their addiction…their wrong choices…the unfortunate things in life will stop happening. Placing yourself at fault for the way others behave has you taking up permanent residence on the fault line.

But Life can change.

You can sell your property on the fault line. You can give it back to God and the ground can be redeemed. You can embrace the truth of grace and mercy. And one day you can believe that you are blameless in His sight. It’s a declaration that your sin is forgiven and washed away through Jesus Christ. Nothing will snatch you out of his hand. Not one thing.

People you love will have bad days.
People you forgive might hurt you again.
People might blame you for things that they can’t control.

It’s not your fault.

The emotional earthquake that happens on the fault line is devastating. It shakes you to the core of who you are. It challenges everything you know to be true about yourself. Sometimes it’s hard to imagine living anywhere else, because no one ever told you that you could leave.

You can move.

You can put up the for sale sign. You can sell the land at the fault line. Give the ground back to Jesus. He paid for it anyway.  He paid for the sins that keep you trapped there. Reclaim the ground in His name. You can own your part of the story.  You can apologize for your actions, behaviors or words that hurt others. And then you can move on.  Owning more than your part of the story only keeps you dwelling on the fault line.

The fault line is a dangerous place to live.

 When life begins to shift, you can stand firm.

Mathew 7, verses 24-25 says this;

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall because it has its foundation on the rock.”

Today, you can build a new house, on the rock.

Today I will not be moved.  I will not be shaken. When I can’t keep it all together… I know God will hold me when things fall apart. When the toast burns, the milk spills, the glass breaks, the plate shatters…when people in my life think, say or do things I cannot control…I will stand with Jesus and I will build on the truth that matters.

I am Loved, I am Chosen and I Am Forgiven.

And so are You.

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